I actually shared this story on an old blog of mine many years ago. But it's too good not to share again! And yeah, it's pretty much as ridiculous as the title suggests. 

It was the Boys vs. Girls war of 2001.

Story Time: Selling Weapons In First Grade: Collectively Caitlin www.collectivelycaitlin.com

Like most first grade classes, there were a large percentage of students who believed that anyone of the opposite sex had cooties. I’m not really sure what a cootie is or why they were such an issue to us at the time. But everyday at recess my class would divide girls and boys and wage a war. The kids would scoop up clay from the ground and launch it at each other. I was an odd kid, so I took this as a business opportunity. I found a spot that was had a large amount of loose clay and would make clay balls and sell them for a dime a piece to any student from either side of the war. I made enough money to usually buy one ice cream a week from the cafeteria. This went on for a few weeks without the teachers noticing. Then one day a student asked me to put a rock in a clay ball. Well this was a huge business opportunity! I started selling the rock filled clay balls for a quarter a piece! That was 15 more cents per clay ball for me! But it wasn’t long before one of those rock/clay balls hurt a student. The kid who threw it of course said she bought it from me. I had to talk to the teacher and explain what I was doing to the principal. I will never forget the conversation with the principal!

“Caitlin, did you give that little girl a rock to throw and Jason?” (I think Jason was the boys name.)

Me, “Of course not! I sold it to her! For twenty-five cents! And it was a clay ball with a rock in it. I don’t think I’d be able to sell a rock by itself. I didn’t know who she was going to throw it at.”

“So you were selling these clay/rock balls to other students as well?”

“Yes sir!” I said pretty proudly!

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever had a student sell clay balls before, I’m not going to tell your parents, especially since that is actually a really smart idea of yours, but you can’t sell any more clay balls or anything else at school, okay?”

I felt a little upset about not being able to sell anymore, but I agreed.

And that was the end of my selling weapons to the Boys vs. Girls war of 2001.